ACROSS LITE PUZZLE: [ CHECK MARKS]
PROGRAM: [Across Lite]
PROGRAM: [Java]
PRINTOUT PUZZLE: [ CHECK MARKS]
PROGRAM: [Adobe Acrobat]
No beating around the bush here, because I mean business today.
On Tuesday afternoon, I get an e-mail from Jared Hersh of Santa Barbara, CA, notifying me that I’m to check out his latest Facebook picture which I’ve reposted above. Right on, another fan for the photo essay. Who doesn’t love the neverending support for the BEQ? That’s right, BEQ doesn’t get tired of it! For Jared’s bravado, he’ll get a copy of “Diagramless” (get yours in the shoppe to the right).
Shortly after I saw the picture, this exchange happens:
Hey Jared,
Well, you know the drill: I’ll run that pic on the site if you would be so kind as to throw [out] a couple words, silly stories, self-deprecating humor and/or assassination of my character. Thx.
-B
Jared’s response was brief:
ELP? Asshole…
Christ, you guys will never let me forget that damnfool clue, will you? (For those needing a refresher, it was the puzzle I did with El Blindito posted here.) Whatever. Every single damn one of you who bitches and complains about that clue has a worn out copy of “Brain Salad Surgery,” and don’t you deny it!
Anyway, I just want to let you know, Jared, that my feelings are hurt. Yeah, I gave you permission to assassinate my character, but you could have done it in a nicer way. You know what this means, don’t you? That’s right, this means war. You, Mr. Jared Hersh of Santa Barbara, CA, are now my sworn mortal enemy. And do you know where we will conduct our battle to the death? I see you will be in Queens on August 14th. Funny, I will be there, too. That’s right, Jared, our battle to the death shall be at Lollapuzzoola.
I’ve recently come to grips that I cannot possibly compete with über-solvers like Dan Feyer and Howard Barkin, but I’ve since found out they aren’t competing this year, this point is rendered moot. And yeah, “Wordplay” stars and perennial ass-kickers like Jon Delfin and Ellen Ripstein are going to be there, but frankly, I stand no chance against them. I could challenge Francis Heaney, but he’s an editor I work for, and I typically employ the strategy “let the person who cuts you checks win.” Amy Reynaldo and Rex Parker are going to be there, but honestly, the only competition I’d pose for them is over blog supremacy.
But I need an enemy. I need a focus. I need a purpose. And for purposes of my story of coming out of crossword solving retirement, I need someone that I have to beat at this contest. And my goal is to humiliate you, Jared. Prepare to place lower than me at Lollapuzzoola. Consider yourself warned.
Quick side bar, in the odd chance you missed my Onion puzzle from yesterday, get it here: [Across Lite] [PDF]
My Visual Thesaurus puzzle is here will go live tomorrow, and I’ll link to it later. I also have this Sunday’s New York Times puzzle: [Across Lite] [PDF] which I’ll post when that goes live too. Yikes. All BEQ puzzles, all the time.
Finally, thanks to all who have been able to tip this week. It’s still not too late to give $10, $20, or even $50. Every penny helps, and frankly, with a tip like any of the above, each puzzle costs you pennies. Even if you can’t contribute, telling people about me, my site, or convincing them to become my Facebook/Twitter follower would help immensely. And as always, I will send a t-shirt of your choice from the Gift Shoppe to one randomly selected donor. Thanks again.
Share the puzzle. New one on Monday.
You go, Brendan! ELP forever! I loved those guys. I think you should do a 17×17 grid just to fit in Brain Salad Surgery.
Kick some serious butt at Lollapuzzoola. And thanks for the tip on Crossword Butler. Great app.
Wow. I can’t believe you did this, BEQ. The arm/disarm code on our alarm at work is the shape of a checkmark and, while keying it in, I came up with this exact theme idea yesterday.
Great minds … and all that.
The Emerson Lake and Palmer puzzle was the NYT you did with Patrick Blindauer a couple of weeks ago, not the one you linked to. Asshole!
Enjoyed the theme, but got hung up on 51D. I learned the 5th note in the solfege scale as SOL. So I thought maybe the answer was SOLS (the same note twice). I see now that SO is acceptable, but I’d never seen it spelled that way before. (of course, it is “sew: a needle pulling thread,” SO duh!)
Ahem, scroll down on that page and you’ll see the puzzle with Blindauer.
My name in a BEQ puzzle? I can die happy.
ASININE DISCIPLE MADISON is a nice jumble up there. DISCIPLE of the Crossword Jesuses, maybe?
Anyway, I’m honored. Thanks a bunch.
–Caleb
Anyone who thinks that ELO was a supergroup, obviously does not know what the term “supergroup” means. Don’t sweat the haters BEQ.
Nicole and I are competing in the pairs division. Even with our combined brain “power” I can virtually guarantee that your score will be higher than ours, but I can, and will, claim that she just slowed me down and that if I were commpeting individually I would destroy you.
Though all I could think of at the time was Mark Hudson and Mark Spitz. You did better.
Oh. And I will happily challenge you to ending up as the higher-placed loser at Lollapuzzoola.
Which one of us can wind up in the top 50%? 16 days and counting. Let the games begin!
Working on the sidelines this year, so how about you & me, street hockey on the roof of the church after the crossword thing instead.
Good luck with the puzzles.
“Crossword thing”?
Street hockey?
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
What’s a guy gotta do to get a villain in my coming-out-of-retirement story?
And I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!
I need to work on my Dante impression. Just trying to incite some pre-game silliness.
(How would a Happy Fun Ball themed puzzle work, by the way? Apart from the obvious side effects.)
It’s a sad day when I finish a BEQ puzzle all on my own, feeling pretty proud, and I come up here to kind of brag about it….and I don’t understand the comments. (Except for Caleb’s. It was a gimme for this old lady, so you are a household word, practically!)
Working on the AV Club puzzle now, looking forward to your next one. Apparently things are going swimmingly at Quigley’s Castle.
ELP was a gimme. Period. There’s more to 70’s music than ELO, people.
As far as music goes, though, the fifth note of the musical scale is most definitely SOL. Sorry, dude. Love the puzzles, but 51D gets scored as an error.
Really liked the AV Club puzzle, too –
See you at Lollapuzzoola! (hope you have a puzzle there)
As this information is educational so this site has been added to my RSS feed for later browsing.
You don’t consider me an ubersolver? Asshole!