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CROSSWORD #312: Themeless Monday

Posted on by Brendan Quigley

ACROSS LITE PUZZLE: [ THEMELESS MONDAY] 
PROGRAM: [Across Lite]


PROGRAM: [Java]

PRINTOUT PUZZLE: [ THEMELESS MONDAY]

PROGRAM: [Adobe Acrobat]


I crushed the New York Times crossword today in a measly 2:24. That’s a personal record. Sure, I did on Across Lite and everybody’s faster on a computer. Had I done it on paper, I would have been demonstratively slower. Still, I managed to beat two other perennial top-flight solvers (Amy Reynaldo and Rex Parker) by a few seconds. Then again, I’m not puffing my chest out, as potential Top 10 ACPT candidate Joon Pahk did it in 2:29 on paper. Wowza.

I couldn’t find Dan Feyer’s time (he’s the current reigning champion). But I’m sure it would make my achievement look like the time it takes for an ice age to form.

So if I’m talking speed solving, it must mean it’s ACPT time. (That’s the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.) Once again, I’ll be taking my talents to Brooklyn. But fear not, I will not be taking my speed solving talents. Those will be left at home in Cambridge. (Will I be bringing my speed drinking talents? Perhaps. I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader.) Anyway, you can expect some ACPT-related posts these next couple weeks, and perhaps that might tip the scales to convince those on the fence to come on out.

To the mailbag. Patrick DiCaprio of Garden City, NY chimes in with an ACPT-related story:


I actually had a nightmare about the ACPT last night! No joke. Here is what happened:

  1. In the first puzzle, we had to use stickers with letters on them instead of writing.
  2. In the second, there was a cardboard wheel of some sort attached to a two page puzzle. The second page of which was a normal layout. The first page had only pictures as clues next to single line fills each of which went up by one letter from three to whatever (hard to count when you are dreaming).
  3. My favorite though was that the third required us to actually catch a red frog! I caught one outside brought it in and a proctor helpfully came over with a box for me to put it in. When it kept trying to jump out, she “dispatched” it for me.

Am i insane?

Probably. But probably no more insane than those competing in the ACPT to begin with. Face it, the ACPT is not unlike the equally-insane ultramarathons. To the average person, the thought of speed solving difficult puzzles over the course of a weekend and/or running 100+ miles in 24 hours isn’t their cup of tea. Roughly 1% of those who are competing have a realistic chance of winning. Most who enter are just looking to finish. And my brother-in-law’s father-in-law competes in both of them. Seems like an apt analogy to me.

Anyway, thanks for the email, Patrick. Best of luck to you this year. Stickers or no stickers. Frogs or no frogs.

Share the puzzle. New one on Thursday.

22 thoughts on “CROSSWORD #312: Themeless Monday”

  1. I had a dream about the ACPT last week.
    The room was a bit deserted as only about 20 contestants had shown up. The big puzzle boards were on the stage — all three of them, and angled so as to be seen from any seat in the room. The grid was filled in and our task was to quickly and correctly write the proper clues on our puzzle sheet. The only grid entry I remember was COFFIN NAIL, so I wrote down “Cigarette”. When time had expired the judges collected our answer sheets but never looked at them since, everyone assumed, no one would come close to having a correct answer list. Everyone mingled and it started raining in the hotel’s corridors.

  3. 17A wins the WTF award for this puzzle. Wow. Learn something new every day, and I’m a sports fan (though not as avid as in the past). Think I’ve finally gotten over my years-long Mets fan ailment though.

  6. Let me align myself as a big 17A supporter. Working out the entire phrasing took a few minutes, but LAUNDRY were the first letters i dropped into the puzzle. I’m more familiar with THE in the phrasing though.
    Being from NC, I only know SKOAL as a brand of dip. *spits on own floor*

  7. I’ll see you in Brooklyn! It is so much fun — I have been twice. Just imagine yourself in a room full of fellow-solvers, of all levels! And BEQ in person.

  9. I will be a first time competitor this year,and I just gave myself a scare: I thought you were all referring to times for the *Sunday* puzzle!
    I finished under 30 minutes for the first time ever yesterday, and was feeling pretty good until I read this blog 🙂

  10. And 2:56 on this “hard” puzzle. 😉
    Particularly great grid today, and LOL at the 14D clue. 35D was a surprising gimme — I have a T-shirt from the OGALLALA Watering Hole (gas station/convenience store), which is owned by my old nanny’s grandson.

  12. I couldn’t think of any word that fit but “laundry”, but that didn’t sound familiar to me. Finally got it in there, of course, but I did the bottom half a lot faster.

  13. Thank you! I am enlightened. Is it OK to say around here that I very rarely watched Seinfeld?

  14. what is with these sports terms? And this football player who killed someone?

  15. I’ve seen every Seinfeld episode a dozen times (if you don’t have cable and it’s 10:00 and you turn on the TV, that’s what you get), but don’t remember that line. The way the puzzle fell for me I saw SUNDAY as the last word, which slowed me down some. Finished with one wrong letter: had EX-DOCTOR and thought it was another joke I didn’t get.
    I remembered IGA from living in St. Louis for a year or maybe it was Arkansas. Down here we got the HEB.
    I knew that about Jeremy BENTHAM. Made this puzzle a lot easier.

  17. I know that neither the facts nor the letters fit:
    But it’s sort of a shame that no version of SIMPSON or OJSIMPSON would work for 14D.
    See y’all at ACPT. I’ll be the one surveying the crowd for the latest rookie to swoop in and dominate the B division. (Hi Joon!)

  19. @Patrick DiCaprio — that wasn’t the ACPT in your dream. You were having a premonition of Lollapuzzoola 4.

  20. It’s incorrect to call Ray Lewis a murderer. All charges against him were dropped, and in his case (unlike most sports celebs who beat the rap), dropping the charges was the correct legal decision. Since Lewis has made a sincere effort to turn his life around since the 2000 incident, it seems a bit harsh to describe him as a murderer.

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